Adding to MP’s post on “Yankee Friends”

Mets Police asked readers what their Yankee fan friends are like. Most of my friends that are Yankee fans aren’t overly obnoxious. They do buy into the Yankeeography, mystique and aura crap, but who wouldn’t? It just makes for hilarious quotes to make fun of them for.

Here’s an example of what many of those quote sound like (phonetically) to Mets fans when put together:

“Da Yankees r da only team dat can wear da pinstripes! Pride, powa, pinstripes. Jeetaa is da best clutch playa in da history of da game. Rememba when he trew hiself into da stands to catch dat foul ball? I was sittin’ deah! Yeah, I picked him up, patted him on da back, and was like ‘Jeet, win it for da Boss! He was like, “I got more rings den ‘dem dumb Mets and Red Sox.’ So dat’s why da Yanks are da best eva.”

Harmless and hilarious. While extremely embellished, it gets the point across.

But, what if you didn’t know the guy? Yes, it’s the strangers you see on the streets and in our ballpark that irk us to no end.

Case in point: last game of the freakin’ 2007 season. I’m sitting with my buddies in our Sunday Package seats in the Mezz. Glavine already blew the season when I arrived fashionably late in the first inning due to parking miles from Shea. We’re miserable. Everyone around us is pissed. It’s hot.

All of a sudden there is a commotion a few rows down from us.

What’s that?

A Yankee fan? What’s HE doing here?

“It’s all over Mets fans!” He boldly proclaims as he points with his two stupid thumbs to the stupid number “2” on his stupid gray jersey. People start yelling back at him to sit down.

Gotta be more creative than that, Mets fans.

Keep in mind this is was in the days before Jersey Shore, but this guy looked like Pauly D and The Situation rolled into one obnoxious spray-tanned fist-pumper. He had the Armani shades. He had the blowout haircut with the sweatband. He had the unbuttoned gray Jeter jersey with a v-neck AX t-shirt underneath. He had his push to talk Sprint phone on a holster hanging of the side of his Diesel jeans. Basically, he had all the trimmings of a real toolbox.

My friends and I jumped at the opportunity to let our Met-rage out.

“Go back to filthy Seaside Heights!” My one friend yelled.

“Hey Guido! Sick sweatband!” Another yelled.

Next we started a “Guido” chant in our section complete with the arm chopping motions that you see in the 400’s at a Ranger game when someone starts an “a-hole” chant. The whole crowd in the Mezz started tearing into this Yankee fan as he continued his typical Yankee fan behavior. He pretended to count rings. Pointed to the “2” and yelled “Jeter!” Oh, and he said, “Mets suck!”

Ooh that stings, Guido. Never heard that one before. Next thing we know the whole section is chanting at him to go home. He takes his shirt off and pretends to want to fight everyone. (Tough odds, Guido. WWJD What Would Jeter Do?)

Luckily for him and the fellow Mets fans 6 rows below us, the lovely Mets ushers granted our wish. He was dragged out holding his jersey in the air screaming Met -hate at the top of his lungs. Our whole section cheered, whistled, and clapped.

Then we all realized our season was over, the meltdown was complete, and the Mets indeed DID suck.

Touche’ Guido. Touche’.


2 thoughts on “Adding to MP’s post on “Yankee Friends”

  1. I’m sorry, that picture bothers me so much. All grown men who buy replica World Series rings and ACTUALLY WEAR THEM should be beaten to death with a sock full of dimes. Congratulations, you just bought a piece of 5 cent gold for 50 bucks to show that you were part of the teams success by sitting on your ass, eating nachos and swearing at the bullpen. You’re as useful to your team as a crapped diaper.

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